Oh how delightful I am to see all of your bright sunny faces again. Well at least that is what I hope for every time you read my blog, regardless as it usually becomes rather, how do I put it? Repetitive and quite dreary, I think the same things happen whenever I try to write a poem, I usually write deep meaningful metaphors to only that of which I know, and no one else. I could put a poem here (I think I might just do that) and everyone will think that its a beautiful poem, but they won't know the meaning to it. *I'll put the poem at the bottom of this blog*
Ah well on to bigger and better things, or so I thought. Recently, and when I mean recently I mean I've been thinking about this for the past forty-eight hours or so because it is rather a nuisance when trying to work on something else and having it crawl and scrape its way in to your brain.
What is it you ask yourselves? I have heard this word being synonymous with me, and I grow very angry at this word which is facsimile to my name. Which word could be the co-conspiritor to it you say? The word creep. That's right! I have recently heard this on three very different occassions from three different "friends" of mine. I guess we can all agree that communication is a big factual entity that can either help or discredit us, and I would have thought that my "friends" would at least enlighten me in. Why, why after all these years of being good friends and/ or acquaintances do you mock me by calling me a creep or any variation of so. I still cannot unravel this mystery; If I were a creep -- Why would you not tell me when or how I was being creepy? Aren't friends supposed to help each other grow? Well in a basic stance, aren't friends supposed to help you? Not chastise or belittle you, or your intelligence?
Maybe and I'm talking about a huge ginormous MAYBE; Maybe I'm just weird or delusional about this all, maybe I am a bit crazy. I'm crazy because I don't wear fancy clothes, because I don't talk or walk the same way you do, because I think different and because I am unique and not just another drone fed in to this idiocratic, paranoid schizophrenic beauty pageant we call a life. Yeah maybe I'm not perfect, but I'd rather be me and have the occasional life fuckups then to be the same as the rest of society stuck in what you perceive to see a PERFECT WORLD. It reminds me of both a movie and a quote; The movie: 12 Monkeys with Bruce Willis and they think he's crazy just because they do not understand him. And the quote, which I feel is appropriate for this occasion:
"He who hears not the music, thinks the dancers are mad" - African Proverb.
I know a good friend, actually probably the only good friend of mine was talking about the same thing with her old friends from her childhood. She talked about how she was always the odd one out, it never even occured to me the similarity between her situation and my own. All these years I always thought I was the glue that held our friends together, who would have thought that I was actually the gum stuck to them all and yet not willingly. =/
I think I'm done with this now, I guess I'll just go ahead and post my poem to that of which no one understands (the latter bit is not my poem, just a strange curiousity**). *One fasination I have always had is when people think that they know you, the REAL you; I find it surprising because people tell me they know the real me, even when I don't know the real me, kind of weird huh?*
Okay now to the poem: (Can you guess what this poem is about? I'll give you money if you guess correctly..) =D
My fire has arisen
let down your bridge, entrance to your own
so that I too may share the memory
One desire, hopeful as the rest
as befuddlement feasts upon my Highly crown
thumps of a pulsating knob arrive at your door
stricken to my eyes and lowly brain
Invitational only! My words floating freely
Warm juices cascades down that wonderful waterfall with glee
I'm INVITED
Dumb brain rigormortus, entering into the unknown
Through that narrow door that leads to caves
Moisture seeping of that wet place
cools my two subconscious' fighting the outsides of this sprinkled forest
plummeting to find what can't be found
reversing to do it all again
when hearing the murderous screams: because explosions rumble by
a silhouette panting in the summer heat
No more will the brain or the doorknob meet; or talk as friends
at least until next summer rolls around again.
Even though it's probably waaay too early for any such a thing, I've done some research on the word creep. Apparently, there are many different meanings to the word; it all comes down to the context in which you use it. F.ex.
ReplyDelete1. Creep (verb) - He's creeping - Showing interest in a member of the opposite sex by flirting or trying to be noticed.
2. Creep (noun) - He's a creep - An annoying person.
3. Creep (noun) - (Same as above) - An annoyingly unpleasant or repulsive person.
I can see how the first description may fit you (we're all creepers, I know I am for sure!), but the other two? They don't even seem to fit you in the slightest. Chances are though, that your friends are calling you a creep without actually putting an actual meaning to it, friends do that sometimes, they call you mean things, but they see it as more of a joke, and they wouldn't ever dream of you taking it seriously (which of course is fairly crap, since the normal person WOULD take something like that at least a little bit seriously, and if not right there and then, at the end of the day they would still end up thinking "... did they actually mean what they said about me, and am I really a creep?"). So, well... They're creeps themselves for calling you a creep, I would say! They're annoying me at least. :P And haha, this is turning into a little blogpost of its own it seems, so I'll stop it now.
x